Spider-Man 2
Peter Parker's "Neo" impersonation was foiled by two rebellious fingers. FADE IN: EXT. NEW YORK TOBEY MAGUIRE has power equivalent to a demi-god, but occasionally this makes him LATE TO THINGS. This...
View ArticleThe Help
Back in the day, most interracial disputes were resolved by thumb war. FADE IN: EXT. OVERSATURATED JACKSON, MISSISSIPPI EMMA STONE is a plucky young WRITER with a passion for- EMMA STONE Before we...
View ArticleThe Three Musketeers
The groin-gun booby-trap was about to end the Duke's duelling career. FADE IN: EXT. VENICE The MOVIE opens with a 17th-CENTURY JAMES BOND SCUBA DIVING SEQUENCE, which LOOKS about as plausible as it...
View ArticleThe Avengers
"Uh, Thor? I think we let our street hockey game get a little out of hand." This script was featured on Cracked.com, so you can also read it there. FADE IN: EXT. INTERGALACTIC COSMIC HOLLYWOOD...
View ArticleSnow White and the Huntsman
Charlize finally saw the DVD cover of 'Monster'. FADE IN: EXT. WINTER GARDEN CHRIS HEMSWORTH (V.O.) (distractingly unnecessary Scottish accent) Once upon a time, generic fantasy setting, can we start...
View ArticleTotal Recall (2012)
Colin Farrell's newest sex tape was even more embarrassing than the original FADE IN: EXT. CGI GLOBE OPENING TEXT At the end of the 21st century, global chemical warfare left the planet nearly...
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